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Two Nights Before Christmas, 1913

12/23/2013

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’Twas two nights before Christmas

When all through the House

Not a Representative was stirring

’Cause they’d already voted the previous day


Now it fell to the Senate, and they deliberated with care

In the hopes that a new central bank soon would be there

The citizens were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions of responsible politicians danced in their heads
 

Well Congress did pass it, and Wilson did sign

And except for one little war, for a while, all seemed fine

But far from taming busts (or booms, for that matter)

The stock market tumbled, and made a helluva clatter

 
All across the country, it spread like a flash

But in then-central bankless Canada, not one bank was dashed

Then came more war, but then, wealth to the nation

When the wheels fell off that bus, they called it stagflation

 
Then in dotcoms, in houses, cheap money was poured

Gave the lustre of growth, and the economy soared

When what, to our wandering eyes, should appear

But another boom busted, recession and fear

 
Would that those who created the Fed had been able

To see that the currency would be less, not more, stable

To see that a dollar, a hundred years hence

Would be worth next to nothing, just a few measly cents

 
And Greenspan, that sly one, so lively and quick

I should have known in a moment, it must be a trick

He said he liked gold, but he went straight to work

Keeping interest rates too low just like any other jerk

 
His rep mostly salvaged, up the pantheon he rose

But behind all our backs, I bet he’s thumbing his nose

And I bet he’s exclaiming, as he fades out of sight,

“Happy 100th to the Fed, and to all lucky bankers a good night!”
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    Who Writes This

    Bradley Doucet is a Montreal writer and the English Editor of Le Québécois Libre.

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